How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
im having a threesome with these popsicles
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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