is your mom at the bar?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
