I'm eating all of the evidence.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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