My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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