if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
