Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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