There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
