Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
