also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
