Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
