i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
