Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
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