So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
