i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
