somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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