Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
