Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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