i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
