yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
