when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I made him laugh his dick is mine
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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