I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
