I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
