y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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