oh god the rape fog is back!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize