Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
