my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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