Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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