She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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