he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
