if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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