How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
