LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
