He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Randomize
