I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
