I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
