the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
50% drunk capacity currently
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
