id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
