Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
