Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
