Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
