I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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