we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize