dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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