Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize