We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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