she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
