Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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