I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize