So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
