let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
