did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
there's paper in my vomit.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
