Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
