Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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