I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
