I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
