Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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