I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
