i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
