I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
