You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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