I wish i was in the wii world.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
