Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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